We were just 17 when we believed that we were in love with each other. It was amazing.
Things definitely would change, but the love we grew together wouldn't, right? If it was true love.
One thing for sure have changed is me. I know I'm not that strong.
I have been very insecure about this relationship, I don't know why. I'm letting all the small things like him not having the time to talk with me, feel that his love for me would fade and we would drift apart.
Have I forgotten what is love?
"Why do you need assurance?"
That question has been pondering in my mind for days.
I decided to do some research on reassurance. Here are some recommended questions to answer honestly.
Is there a person/s that you need to hear from every single day? Who are they? Why do you need to hear from them?
Yes, S. I would love to know how his day went. I need to hear that he's happy having me by his side.
If you do not hear from the people you listed, do you start to worry and call them?
Yes. Hoping that he would feel the same way, and would initiate the call instead.
How does the person react to your worries and hearing from you? How do they feel about you needing them so consistently?
He would tell me that he needs something else at the moment, something important like sleep. He told me to stop being emotional and let go of the negative thoughts.
What are some of the things you worry about that require reassurance?
I worry that he wouldn't find the need to talk to me, and find me boring. I worry that he would start giving attention to someone else.
What happens if you do not receive reassurance?
I would feel that things have changed, people changed, and leads to feelings for each other to fade. Fear of losing someone.
"It's a blessing to find people with whom we can be vulnerable and talk to them when we feel anxious or insecure. A reciprocal sharing of our humanity, including our need for reassurance, builds trust and connection."
After much researching, I guess I have anxiety disorder. I'll have to try to cope with self-assurance, or else I definitely need to seek professional help from a therapist.
I think I can handle this, especially after reading more on anxiety disorder and reassurance.
Give me some time Duke. I got this.
